Can I just start by saying I fucking LOVE Twitter at the moment. After having wrestled with stuff over the recent weeks, I wasn’t sure whether it was time for me to hang up the little bird and move on, yet surprisingly, just as I was feeling at my down and out-iest, I found myself discovering new things, meeting new people and having some brilliant conversations which just couldn’t happen anywhere else. So sorry folks, you’re stuck with me a bit longer.

Between the conversations I began looking into some new toys, particularly in an area I’d not experienced before – prostate vibrators. In my research for said toys I came across a lot of talk about the very different type of orgasm you could achieve with them and this obviously fuelled my decision to get on and buy one, but, as will be covered by this article’s sister post tomorrow, I got sod all out of my first time with one and went back to watching Mission: Impossible in my pants.

Still, I wasn’t about to throw in the towel so I read some more blogs and kept coming across a regular warning about NOT touching your cock while using a prostate toy because, while it could give you a stronger ejaculation, that wasn’t actually what you were supposed to be aiming for. In fact you were supposed to experience an orgasm without ejaculating.

And then, by sheer coincidence, someone light-heartedly mentioned Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms on Twitter, asking how many men had experienced them or even knew of them. I replied that I was looking into that area and they kindly pointed me towards this article – How to Have Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms: a Step-by-Step Guide.

I’ve always considered myself fairly lucky because the recovery period doesn’t effect me in the same way as a lot of men. I can usually come three times in succession before I need to reset, that’s always been enough to take care of my sexual urges, but I was curious to see how I could achieve NEOs through other means (since I was having no luck with the vibrator) and, like a swot, I read the article and processed what it told me.

I don’t want to prevent anyone from reading the full thing because it’s a great post, but the main point – the most interesting point – is the part about learning to separate orgasm from ejaculation. It seems painfully simple now, but I was genuinely surprised to learn about it and disappointed I’d not heard of it before.

The thing is many men will probably never think about any other type of orgasm because the topic is never discussed. When you’re at school it’s purely in relation to reproduction; porn only shows one type of orgasm as the climax of the piece; and guys everywhere just naturally assume that the come-shot is what it’s all about, and once it’s done, it’s game over.

But that’s simply not the case. As I discovered, the feeling of orgasm is entirely separate from the ejaculation and comes (no pun intended) actually before you blow your load. I still think the final release is an important part of my sexual pleasure but it’s a fucking incredible thing to understand and discover that you can separate and control how the two join.

Of course, being me, I found out during the process that I’m stupidly blind about somethings as, while I read the article and used it to guide me through a damn good wank on Monday morning, I suddenly realised something. Dots began to join. Numbers added up. This was a sensation I’d experienced before!

As that first NEO crashed through my body and I tightened muscles to avoid spunking all over the place, I understood that I’d actually done this a few times in the past, but I’d never stopped and thought about it, instead I went on to the full messy finish and carried on with the rest of my day as normal.

Oh what had I missed?!

I felt kinda stupid as a result. What seemed like a happy accident was actually the tip of a much greater experience I’d been missing out on, but at least now I can recognise the sensation, control it and – fuck me – manage to last a good hour or so with multiple orgasms and no need for a break. That’s got to be worth celebrating and spreading the word about.

So this is me telling any guys reading this to go and look into Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms. Start with that article, set aside some time to practise and have fun. It won’t make you last longer in bed with a woman, and it’s ultimately a pretty selfish skill, but sometimes it’s nice to focus on yourself.

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