A quick heads up – this ties into my post about groaning through the most orgasms I’ve ever experienced in one morning. I’ll state right now that it involves prostate play so if that’s not for you, or you have any negative opinions about it, I suggest you kindly move on. It’ll be a mixture of review and charting my experience and while I’ll try not to be crude, I will be honest. Peace and love, Barnum x

This has been one hell of a week for experimenting. The discovery, learning and experiencing of Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms left me a gibbering mess on Monday and then was swiftly followed by a rather earth-shattering combination of NEOs and vibrating prostate toys on Tuesday. I’ve been a busy Barnum.

But it wasn’t all easy, or straight-forward, and I doubt I’d have achieved success with the latter, without the happy accident of the former.

Prostate toys are an acquired taste and I can fully understand men hesitating. The mind often conjures ideas of pain and discomfort in that area, as well as (foolishly) imagining it’ll hurt their male pride, but let me just state that prostate play is not gay. I know enlightened readers will already understand this, but I just want to repeat that fact – it’s not related to sexuality and should be looked at as just another way to experience sexual pleasure. It should be no more embarrassing to think about or talk about than having a wank.

Moving on.

The first toy I chose was the Black Silicon Massager from Bondara. At under 4″ it seemed a good choice, certainly not as daunting as some which looked like mutated worms or joysticks from 90’s game consoles. It’s also waterproof and rechargeable – another win because, as far as I’m concerned, practicality is just as important as pleasure.

When it arrived I was pleasantly surprised by how simple it looked and how nice it felt to touch. Those who read my post on the general weirdness of male sex toys might understand how happy this actually made me. It’s sleek, solid and easy to manipulate. It features 8 speed and vibration variations and is a generally discreet addition to the collection.

Before using it I made sure to do plenty of reading and research. Things going where things haven’t been before should not just be blundered into (I’m adventurous, not stupid), however, on the first night I got nothing out of it. Zilch. Nadda. It buzzed away quite happily but was as sexually arousing as a phone vibrating on the bedside table.

Not wanting to give up, I tried again the next day and still – nothing. I put on some porn, hoping it would help, and just sat there like I was waiting for a bus to arrive. Only the bus never came, and neither did I. The vibrations were either not strong enough or the toy wasn’t touching the right area, either way I felt disappointed, gave up and went back to watching Mission:Impossible (appropriate, huh?)

I hunted for a new model which might have more success and found the The Pleaser, another toy from Bondara. This is also waterproof and rechargeable (practical!) and features a second prong for stimulating the perineum which the other toy does not.

Side by side, the difference is quite obvious. The Black Silicon Massager is 3.75″ in length, the Pleaser is 5.2″. The thickest part of the Pleaser is also about double that of the Black Silicon Massager and features ridges which, I ain’t gonna lie, makes it considerably more difficult to use if you aren’t well practised in such things, even with enough lube to cover a baby elephant.

While The BSM is completely solid, the Pleaser is not – the point where the massager meets the handle flexes when you add pressure, making it difficult to control with slippery fingers. Another problem is the large buttons on the base. These are very easy to push, as I found with a considerable yelp, and let me say – you really don’t want a jolt like that when you’re trying to relax.

Now to divert briefly off topic and return to the Non Ejaculatory Orgasms I mentioned earlier – the key thing I learned was how to distinguish orgasm from ejaculation. Go and read the post, or better yet, read the original article which explains it in detail. In the days between using the BSM and The Pleaser, I’d found I could distinguish and control this and put it to nerve-jangling effect. Now, while trying to use the Pleaser and accidentally hitting that power button, I felt a punch of that same pleasure which made me kick the foot of my bed so hard my Jack Skellington model fell off the end.


THAT was more like it!

As soon as I recognised the kind of pleasure a prostate toy gave, I whirled through the 7 speeds and vibration patterns and produced many muscle clenching orgasms in quick succession. In seconds I was thrashing on the bed trying to clutch the lubed up toy and stop it from slipping away. Not an easy task.

I would have gone on and on but my frustration with not being able to manipulate the toy properly made me turn off and take a breather. On simply a whim I picked up the Black Silicon Massager again and tried that instead. It was far easier to use and although the vibrations weren’t as strong as the Pleaser, my awakening with the larger toy seemed to have told my body what the sensations could do and BINGO another bout of orgasms followed.

Teeth-clenching, back-arching, gutteral, heavy breathing orgasms. Multiple times.

It’s like everything suddenly aligned – the knowledge of NEO’s combined with a toy that was too big, and one that was too small all worked together and I was riding the fucking orgasm train until either it broke down, or I did.

After an hour of of using the vibrators, I hit countless orgasms. Then, when I decided to stop because I actually needed to spunk to feel completely satisfied, I used the NEO technique to drive myself to further orgasms before experiencing a five minute, fucking intense, Prolonged Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm which blew my mind.

I was fucking DONE by the end of it and tripping as high as Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

So in conclusion –

The Black Silicon Massager is a great little toy – very easy to use and solid, however it wasn’t strong enough to do the job alone for me personally.

The Pleaser’s size and ridges made it harder to use, however its vibrations are far superior to the BSM and are almost guaranteed to leave you a groaning shell. It’s just a shame that the button placement and the flexible base make it difficult to handle. In an ideal world I’d join the two together – the sleek firmness of the BSM and the power of the Pleaser.

And finally – Prostate play is INCREDIBLE. I shall be a firm champion from now on.