Of course this week sees the arrival of that most “romantic” day of celebration – in which people with no imagination send tacky merchandise to each other and others beg for cheap attention on Twitter – Valentine’s Day.

I’m not a fan at the best of times so I worked on creating this alternative (and rather tragic) card instead.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I cry myself to sleep

Wanking about you

See who else is taking part

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked