Geeky, Sexy Waffles



Cold As Ike


When I heard about @theotherlivvy’s #EuphOff challenge, my mind jumped at the opportunity to write filth and dress it up in the most terrible, pun-worthy way possible. What’s not to love?

As a result I created this – quite possibly the most awful, cringe-worthy thing I’ve ever written (at least, knowingly) and it’s about as sexy as a Carry On film.

The whole thing was conceived as part of a pulpy, tawdy adventure novel in which the MEN are gruff adventurers, the women are portrayed as fawning damsels and scientific fact is an inconvenience which gets in the way of a ripping yarn. It’s a pastiche, a parody, and it made me laugh a lot while writing it.
Continue reading “Cold As Ike”

Silencer – Chapter Three



This was supposed to be the last part, however I think there’s one more chapter to go. 

Read Chapter One here

Read Chapter Two here

Every thrust was carefully considered, each twist of his finger purposeful and controlled. He took her gently at first, allowing them both to enjoy the sensation, then drove deeper and faster once she began pushing back onto his hand. Their rhythm found, Jonathan pressed the tip of another finger to her cunt and smiled as she spread deliciously around its length.

Alice gasped at the new sensation, spreading her legs while he controlled, teased and played with her. She closed her eyes. She bit her lip. She tightened her grip on the shelves until her knuckles turned white. But she did not break. She remained focused, determined and always – always – kept herself facing forwards.

Continue reading “Silencer – Chapter Three”

Silence – Chapter Two

Silence started as an entry for #WickedWednesday. Click here to read Chapter One.

Taking his time, Jonathan reached out with one hand and ran his fingers down Alice’s back. It was barely more than a hint of contact, hardly enough to even be felt, yet as her shirt rippled beneath his fingertips he enjoyed the sight of her body tensing while edging his way down towards her neat, black skirt.

In the reflection of the window opposite, Jonathan watched Alice’s expression change and shift from calm control to nervous excitement. He wondered whether she would be able to stay quiet. If it would be better to withdraw and leave her, wanting but unable to abide by his rules. It would be risky to continue if she couldn’t contain herself and yet, after he considered his options, he decided to continue anyway. There was no fun in giving up so easily, he decided, and the game had only just begun.

Continue reading “Silence – Chapter Two”

Silence – Wicked Wednesday Prompt #221

I’m a bit annoyed with myself for embellishing so much that I was unable to write what I wanted within the word count but – alas – that’s how I roll. I intend to finish the story soon enough so consider this merely an introduction…

The library card had three pieces of information on it – a time, an aisle number, and a single word – “Silence”

To the casual eye it would have appeared innocent enough – a note left by one librarian to another, perhaps – but Jonathan had felt certain its intentions would be understood by the intended recipient and, when he saw Alice appear on the stairs at 6 O’clock, the little slip of card poking from the pages of the book she held, he knew he’d been right.

Continue reading “Silence – Wicked Wednesday Prompt #221”

Blog at

Up ↑